All hail to the goddess Cafeina, bringer of the day and slayer of zombies!
Mornings cannot begin without a dose of my favorite beverage, the purveyor of personalities, coffee. I am as ardent a holder of my morning coffee + cigarette routine as second grader with Autism. Every morning the same steps: set up the coffee, smoke a cigarette, drink the coffee, repeat steps 2 and 3 until brain fog subsides and I become human. My days have begun this way for nearly a decade, but now there is glitch in the system. The glitch’s name is Sebastian. Sebastian is the orange tabby who recently came to keep me company in my apartment, and he is squirming his way into screwing up my mornings. For some reason, he believes that as soon as my eyes open, I am supposed to do silly things like pet him and fill his food dish. He doesn’t seem to understand that pre-coffee mommy is a zombie, who would bite off his head if she didn’t have to bend down to reach it. Each morning, as I stumble to the porch with my first cup of brew he twists himself around my ankles and it is all I can do not to A, trip over him, B, step on him, or C accidentally pour hot coffee on his little mewing head. Perhaps it shows I am unfit to be a kitten-momma, but there I times I consider dowsing him just once to teach him to hold back on the cute until mom is sufficiently caffeinated, but it would waste my coffee.
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